Perhaps, Love

Perhaps, I'll read back at all these posts one day and laugh. Perhaps, I'll even shook my head and roll my eyes at getting myself into this, but for now, this feels right.

I woke up feeling like a pillar has fallen over me. He was still asleep next to me, tossing and turning every few minutes, disturbing my peace. I put my arm on his chest and he held them. It could be the last time I'll wake up to him beside him for the year. His families are arriving over the next few days, and he'll have to spend time with them.

We first met at the shopping centre near my house. He took a cab there and was late. I was getting impatient, and was about to walk off. We went to a coffee shop, but I didn't know he doesn't drink coffee, so he ordered water instead. I offered to pay, but he refused. We spent the next hour talking about his life, and mine. His favourite line, "Tell me a story".

He has struggled being comfortable with his sexuality for ages, and he was never comfortable being seen showing any hint of being gay in public. He would quite literally react like someone was about to attack him, when I tap him on the shoulder or touches him. He won't talk about anything that hinted homosexuality, nor would he say anything when I pointed out hot boys.

Over the past few weeks, not only has he become more comfortable with his sexuality, he's becoming more comfortable with who he is. Well, the fact that he'd bust into a Kylie dance routine, or act like a black woman with attitude in public says it all.

It's the Boxing Day Sale and I promised him that we would go to the shops and he can buy some games and clothes. As we were walking in the mall, he placed his hand on my back, and he called me, "bub" or "bubby" the whole time even when there are people around us.  When I'm walking too fast, he would put his hand on my shoulder or on my neck. He whispered in my ears because I was grumpy the whole time - I only had 7 hours sleep, and I was hungry. It's a progress, and to me, its an achievement. He's growing and changing so quickly.

We had brunch. Not sushi this time, for a change, although we had sushi for a late lunch before we took a nap at around 5. His friend called at 6.15pm and his family was arriving at 6.30pm. It was dark, rainy and the perfect weather to sleep. He put an eye-mask on my eyes so he can switch on the light to pack. He can be cute like that, sometimes.

He quickly packed, used the bathroom, left me a whole bunch of DVDs to entertain myself, gave me three goodbye kisses while he packed. At 6.30pm, his taxi arrives and he gave me a last good-bye kiss. I collapsed into the couch, staring at the white ceiling while the iPod on the dock played Yellow by Coldplay, with the ambiance light on and two candles on the coffee table burning.

He's a special boy.